Contentment, and Why New Shoes Won't Help

The popularised phrase has been around for years -- 'Would you rather be unhappy and rich, or happy and poor'. In other words, material goods or inner contentment; which would you choose? On the surface, it appears like a fairly simply question to answer. Most of us would say contentment (though there would be the few who'd claim they could buy their happiness back), however this choice is not often applied in our everyday life. Whether we will openly admit it or not, many of us rely upon material goods to bring us happiness. We have fallen to think as advertisers would have us think, that our lives are not complete until we possess the new item.
Saying "I just want the new iPhone" is not the same thing as saying "I just want to be happy".

So let's re-think the way we see this phrase, because on second glance, you'll see it's actually a paradox.

Buddism teaches us that the greatest wealth is contentment. With a peaceful and happy mind, we are rich. Hence, this statement would actually be saying to us "Would you rather be unhappy and happy, or happy and unhappy?". But isn't there truth in that statement? Ultimately, human experience is going to vary between being happy and unhappy -- we don't get a choice in that. However, we do get a choice in which state we spend the majority of our time in.

Being a content and happy person isn't altogether an easy choice to make. But it is just that -- it is a choice.

Firstly, we must forget our belief that happiness can we found within external things. Regardless of whether we are in an ideal situation -- we are with our favourite people, at our favourite place, doing our favourite thing -- we can still fail to be happy. I'm sure this is a situation that many of us have experienced before; we can have everything we could possibly want externally, but we are still not content.
Contentment is a state of mind, and thus can only we achieved by looking inwards at ourselves. We must make the conscious decision to be in that state of mind, though it is not often the easiest choice to make. This is a vital step that many of us miss out, as we are too busy trying to make all of the external factors around us 'perfect'. Remember, they are called external  for a reason -- they are out of our control. The only thing we can control is ourselves.

A lot of research is currently going in to explore Positive Psychology, and how happiness is achieved. One of their conclusions greatly supports these Buddhist teachings.

It was found that genetics determined our happiness level by 50%, our internal factors or choices by 40%, and only our environment by 10%. This helps to explain why buying new shoes can often only give us a split second of happiness.

From the look of this study, its clear genetics plays a large role in our contentment. Does that mean we pack up and go home, and accept we're just sad people? No.

It has been found that the gene 5-HTTLPR can have an affect on our happiness. (Why they could not give it a simpler name, I don't know. That's an external factor that does not bring me happiness). The length of this gene does tend to correlate with a higher influence rate in positive emotions. Yet, a shorter gene only gives a greater predisposition  to more negative emotions; most definitely not a stamp to say you're doomed to be sad.
This is where that 40% comes into play. We must help to control and influence the biological happenings of our body. The mind plays a vital role in our bodily functions -- a topic I am sure I will go into more detail on soon. So again, we come back to making the choice of being happy.

Making the Choice
How do we choose to be in the contentment state of mind, and re-train ourselves?

• Instead of focusing upon what is wrong, or what is lacking in our lives, focus on the opposite -- choose to be happy with our current state, and view situations before us as a positive challenge.
• Discontentment often comes from focusing on things in the past or in the future. Avoid this way of thinking! Focus on your current state in the here and now, and clear your mind in that moment.
• Realise that external wealth is unreliable happiness. The Beatles were right, you 'Can't Buy Me Love!' Material possessions do not last, and can not affect our state of mind. If someone's laptop breaks down, all happiness does not suddenly disappear from their world forever -- though you once thought happiness would come from that possession, it turns out its still present without it. As Buddhism teaches, attachment is a mistaken way of thinking. Nothing external can truly make us happy, and is irrelevant if the mind is peaceful. 
• There was some sense in what Elsa was saying -- Let it go! Do not old onto unhealthy emotions, regrets and hatred from the past. Equally, do not hold onto something that is causing you pain. If life can been seen as a continually flowing river -- with calm waters and rough patches -- holding onto something on the side whilst in a rapid will do more damage to you than good. So, let it go! Move on, and let the flow of life take you elsewhere. Positive Psychology is currently researching into this 'Flow' technique, finding it to be a certified way towards happiness. 
  
  One of the most insightful teachings I have found in Buddhism is learning to 'Accept'. When a negative situation comes our way, which unfortunately  is guaranteed, we must learn to accept the situation as simply the way things are. Do not turn to negative emotions, such as anger or sadness, but take a moment to accept what is happening. Once calm, you can then choose whether you can change this situation, now in a peaceful mind, or whether you must learn how to deal and move on. Again, this comes back to the 'Flow' technique, and realising that you can go through life and approach all events with a content and peaceful mind.
  
  
  Additionally, gratitude is an extremely important step in gaining inner happiness. We can choose to have an mind of gratitude, rather than a mind of attachment. Take time out of the day to reflect upon all in life we have to be grateful for -- we have this human life, the inclination to search for meaning, and the ability to find contentment. Realise that all that we have comes from the kindness of others -- our education, life, even our morning coffee from the café. Even if it is not others intention for us to have benefited from their actions, we have, thus we can choose to be thankful.
  
  
  Happiness is a choice. And the logical choice to make!